Navigation of the Heart
by chansoncoeur
Summary: Befriending Sirius Black would be extremely detrimental to her whatever was left of her sanity. And Marlene McKinnon, being her stubborn, sarcastic self, would not let that happen.


Marlene really couldn't think of any form of punishment crueler than the one she was receiving now. It wasn't fair, or even remotely healthy, that she had gotten stuck with _him_ as her Potion's partner.

Yet there he sat, feigning a hardworking attitude as he pretended to take notes on Professor Slughorn's never ending lecture. She watched him bitterly as she clung onto her last strand of sanity.

"You know," he said, leaning in so that only she could hear him, "that angry expression on your face really does not flatter you, love. I'd much prefer it if you gave me a smile instead."

She rolled her eyes, and in an act of defiance, refused to rid herself of the fuming expression.

"Geez, if looks could kill…" Sirius muttered quite audibly.

"Oh don't go have a cow, Black," Marlene snapped quietly. "_I'm_ trying to concentrate on the lesson, yet there you are, acting arrogant as usual, talking away when people really couldn't care less what you have to say!"

Sirius smirked and tipped back on his battered stool after glancing towards the front of the room to make sure Slughorn wasn't watching. "Don't hold back, tell me how you _really_ feel."

"Hilarious, Black."

"I don't see why you're so opposed to being my partner, anyway," he continued, disregarding Marlene's sarcastic quip. "I'm really nearly as terrible as you think. But then again, I'm probably twice as complicated as you doubt I am."

Marlene wasn't sure how to reply to this, so she just jerked her head in his general direction in an attempted nod, and looked the other way. He seemed to find this hilarious, because when she stole a quick glance at him from over her shoulder, he looked as though it was all he could do to hold back his laughter.

"Something funny?" she asked as Slughorn began spouting out directions of how best to chop up Mandrake roots. Sirius raised an eyebrow at her and scrunched up his face.

"Well I was just thinking-"

"That's a first."

"No need for sarcasm," Sirius said cooly. "Anyway, I was saying, I find it hilarious that you're so worked up over me being your partner. Usually, you're very 'cool, calm, and collected', if you will."

"I have a lot on my plate right now. I don't need this from you, not now," Marlene replied in a voice merely above a whisper. Sirius' expression instantly turned solemn.

"I'm sorry... If you want to talk about it..."

"Well my parent's are- actually my brother is really worrying me- Oh never mind, I don't know why I'm telling you this," she concluded sourly.

"Because I can help?" Sirius offered, running a hand through his shaggy black hair.

"No. No, actually, you can't," Marlene hissed with closing. Sirius wasn't stupid; he could tell that their conversation was over, so he picked up his quill and began scribbling on a scrap piece of parchment.

Marlene sighed. Sure, Sirius was absolutely gorgeous, and sure, he'd seemed geniunely concerned about her, but becoming friends with Sirius Black was not a good idea. If she became friends with him, or even got to the point where she fancied him, she would only be setting herself up for pain. And she would not, could not, let that happen.

* * *

"He's so bloody calm about everything!" Marlene complained to her friends that night at dinner. "When I insult him, it's like he doesn't even care. It doesn't even faze him. I can't stand it!"

Lily and Dorcas exchanged knowing glances. After being best friends with Marlene for six years, and sharing a dorm with her for the same amount of time, they knew her pretty well. When she was upset, she tended to be very dramatic and talk in a manner that made Lily and Dorcas question her sanity. However, they had learned, to avoid a full scale explosion, it would be in their best interests to just tell Marlene what she wanted to hear.

"I know, sweetie. But don't let him get to you," Dorcas said soothingly as Marlene furiously shoved a biscuit into her mouth.

"Dorcas is right, Mar. Give him a chance, he can't be_ that _bad," Lily chimed in.

"That's rich coming from you, _Mrs. I Hate James Potter So Much_," Marlene snapped, pushing her wavy brunette locks behind her ear.

"I don't hate him, I just don't agree with how he acts in public company. That's all," Lily sniffed pompously.

Before Marlene had a chance to think of a witty retort, Dorcas shushed the two of them.

"Speak of the devil…" she whispered as she pointed over at James Potter, who was grinning like a mad man and strolling their way.

"Evening, ladies," he said.

"Potter, if you're here to flirt with Lily, it's going to have to wait. We're having a crisis," Marlene muttered dramatically. James laughed, his perfectly happy mien remained unharmed.

"Actually I'm here to tell you that I've been made Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and that tryouts are going to be next Tuesday. Not that you're going to have much competition in the Chaser department, McKinnon," he stated brightly. Being a passionate Chaser, Marlene squealed excitedly and her rotten mood rapidly slipped away into the darkness.

"James, that's great! I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed, flinging her arms around him in a celebratory embrace. Dorcas giggled at Marlene's sudden change of heart, but Lily stiffened slightly in her seat as James returned Marlene's hug. However, Lily didn't seem to be the only one in protest of James and Marlene's embrace, because Sirius trudged over out of nowhere with a sour expression on his face.

"Off my Potion's partner, Prongs. She doesn't need you distracting her," he snapped, glaring at James with a look of loathing that Marlene couldn't decipher.

"I'm at perfect liberty to hug whoever I want," she sniffed. Sirius rolled his eyes and tapped James impatiently on the back.

"Only if they're worthy, love… Come on Prongs, Moony is in dire need of our assistance."

James got up, gave Marlene a shrug that said, _I'm as confused as you are_, and with a fleeting grin at Lily, he ran out of the Great Hall after Sirius.

* * *

As the week dragged on in a parade of seemingly endless rainy days, Marlene began to realize certain things about Sirius Black. For one, she had misjudged him. When Slughorn had matched the two of them up, Marlene was sure that Sirius was going to be extremely detrimental to her Potion's mark, and, unfortunately, to her sanity as well. She was under the impression that he didn't give a damn about his schoolwork, but he'd proved her wrong. Sirius, as it turned out, was a very hard worker, and often the only one in the partnership that knew what they were supposed to be accomplishing with the potion at hand. For another, he wasn't arrogant like she'd thought he was going to be. He did have his moods, and quite frequently downright rotten ones, but he wasn't arrogant. And most of all, he was extremely gentle and sincere with her. Much more so than she ever would have expected.

He had just proved this recently, when Marlene had started dozing off during a particularly uneventful Potions lesson.

"Been skimping on your sleep, McKinnon?" Sirius inquired with a grin. He dumped the contents of a random jar into their cauldron and began stirring it vigorously.

"Nah, it's just been a long week," she yawned as the potion emitted a champange colored fume. Sirius gave her a measured look before placing his hand gently on her shoulder and suggesting that she use her free period to take a much needed nap.

"No. No, I can't. I have to f-finish my Transfiguration essay," she stammered, quite aware that he was touching her. Sirius seemed to notice her discomfort, for he removed his hand immediately.

"Err..." he said stupidly. Marlene almost laughed at the sight of Sirius Black at a loss for words, but she also felt bad about the awkward position she'd just insinuated for him.

"Actually, I think I will take that nap. Thank you, Sirius," she grinned brightly, hoping to erase some of his former awkwardness. Sirius seemed slightly confused, but returned the smile nonetheless.

"Good. You deserve a break."

* * *

Chaser tryouts had come a lot quicker than Marlene had expected, and the added pressure of Quidditch did nothing to help her already rising stress level. As she'd already told Sirius during their first Potions lesson, she had a lot on her plate.

To start, she'd guilted herself into sending her parents an owl. Not that the letter was to actually see how they were doing, but rather, to see if her three year old brother, Gavin, was still alive. Knowing that her mum and dad would be busy with work (as they always were), she had no idea what would happen when they forgot that they had an adorable little son to take care of.

In addition to that, Lily had started a tireless campaign to include Mary MacDonald in their group. Lily, Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary all shared the seventh year Gryffindor dorm, but Mary never really hung out with them. Instead, she favored hanging out with a large group of constantly giggling Hufflepuff girls that Marlene couldn't stand. For that reason, Marlene hadn't been exactly partial to the idea. Dorcas, however, was enthralled by it, and had even begun hunting down Mary in the corridors just to say hello. When Marlene explained that Mary didn't want to be their friend, Lily and Dorcas ignored her. They said that they regretted leaving her out all those years, and that, since it was their last year, they should make an attempt at redemption.

And on top of all that, there was Sirius Black, was was strolling over across the Quidditch pitch to her.

"I just wanted to say good luck today," he explained.

Marlene gulped as she finally acknowledged the pre-flying jitters that she wasn't even aware she had.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you anyway."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Sirius grinned.

Marlene gave him a firm look, just to be sure he wasn't kidding. "Friends?"

"Yes," he decided. "Friends."

As a bead of sweat formed on the back of her neck, Marlene wondered what in the world she'd just gotten herself into.

* * *

**AN: Hope you all liked that, reviews are highly appreciated! I own nothing, except for the plot, but other than that everything belongs to some author by the name of J. (I know, I've never heard of her either). Oh and just a side note, Marlene and Dorcas ARE canon characters. I didn't create them.**


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